Subtle Art of Asking & get whatever the Fuck you want!
Practical Psychology
What if I told you it is possible? How easy life would be!
We are emotional creatures. We buy into emotion, then justify with logic. What I’m about to share with you are three secrets to increase the probability of getting a yes to whatever the fuck you ask for!
The donation request, asking for a promotion, asking for a ride, asking for more marks from teachers, asking for that first kiss from your gf/bf, asking new mobile to your parent and what not. As long as we are social animals, you will need something from someone else.
Now if you think knowing social hacks will make you a crook, go ahead stop reading. Knowing science makes you immune to persuasion.
1. When asking for help, appeal to people’s self-interest
When Asking For Help Appeal To Peoples Self-Interest, Never To Their Mercy Or Gratitude
Don’t bother to remind people that they owe you, people don’t give a shit!
Even if you have helped them when they needed, people will mostly forget what you did for them. What you need to highlight is “when they help you, what they will gain” No matter how small.
Sample Usage
If you're asking a colleague for the bike, a better way to ask is “I will put extra fuel in”
Trump, when talking about campaign donations, tells voters: “I don’t need your money. I am really rich.” Those who donate don’t feel like they’re being shaken-down, as is typical in campaigns. They’ll donate to “Make America Great Again” because giving a billionaire your money willingly isn’t as bad when it’s for a cause.
Reversal: Some people are always happy to help, they find happiness in helping others. Rich and powerful people, want to be seen as giving and helping. Never try appealing to their self-interest. Bottom line - know who you're dealing with!
2. Ask for a small request before the actual one | “Foot in the Door” | Benjamin Franklin effect
Before asking someone for the actual request, ask small favor(which will be accepted) which is completely unrelated or related, something even simple as asking for a pen will work. Then ask for the actual request.
Research shows that we like people for whom we’ve done a favor(Benjamin effect). An explanation for this is cognitive dissonance. People reason that they help others because they like them, even if they do not because their minds struggle to maintain logical consistency between their actions and perceptions. Our mind justifies our actions.
Sample Usage
(Mostly used by door to door sales people |asking request to a stranger)
They most often ask for “Water” or some random simple questions to make a relationship with the client. Once the client likes them, then go for the sale.
Asking for a glass of water from the Interviewer can increase your chances of getting selected. (Do plan it accordingly)
Pick up artist basic stratergy. “Can I buy you a drink?”
3. Ask for a very big request before the actual one | ”Door on the face”
Before asking someone for the actual request, ask very big favor(which will be denied). Ask for a large request that the respondent will most likely turn down. The respondent is then more likely to agree to a second, more reasonable request, than if that same request is made in isolation.
This works because of reciprocal concessions. That is the social responsibility of people. When compared to initial request second request seems very small, so people are more likely to comply because of guilt.
Sample Usage
You want 5000 rs. You should ask for 20k (which is going to be denied) then upon denial,ask for 5k ( this will sound very reasonable compared to 20k and your likely to get the money).
Mother: Clean the entire house before evening, I need to cook.
Son: No mom, that’s too much cleaning in such a short time!(DENIAL)
Mother: Can u at least clean your room?
Son: Ok mom, consider it done!(ACCEPTANCE)
Bonus Social Hacks
- Flattery increase, chances of getting a yes. BTW you look great today!
- Use the word “because”, people always look for the reason for helping, even if your reason is bullshit ( to learn more google ‘classic xerox machine experiment’ )
- Always include “way out” in your request ( to learn more google ‘BYAF’)
Example
“Can you drop me to the airport tonight? If you can’t its fine I know you might be busy. I will take a uber”
